Actually, let’s start this off with the truth: There is only One eternal God, He created all that is, gave mankind rule over everything and provided one test of trust, “Don’t eat that.” Mankind failed the test, and we’ve been failing ever since. God provided one opportunity for restoration – “Trust Me/Jesus.” All who accept that opportunity will enter a relationship with Him which comes with some pretty nice perks as well as some rather hefty challenges from the rest of mankind and nature itself, which was warped when the first trust was broken. It puts us all on equal footing, albeit as safe as cracked wet ice over a bottomless pond… and it gives us all the same opportunity to grab the only hand that can pull us to safety – the one with scars made by rusty nails and rough wood.

Now for a short list of other “gospels,” the ones that put trust in some other idea of God, man, and eternity. The differences are subtle enough to trip up many people, and the creativity going into them is nearly boundless.

Bubble Gum Gospel – well, that’s what I’ve called it for years… it’s the idea that you just march into God’s throne room with whatever request comes to mind and expect Him to fulfill it. New house? New car? Name it & claim it, brother, because God’s obligated Himself to give you anything you ask for. Drop a quarter, get a gumball – drop a prayer, get your wish. Spoiler alert: He’s not that kind of God, not a genie in a bottle without the option to decline. He’s much wiser and actually loves us more than the indulgent parent who would hand a 14yo the keys to a Maserati with a full tank of gas.

Appeasement Gospel – this one is popular all over the world, under many constructed gods… it’s the one where adherents need to jump through hoops, walk over hot coals, throw their children into fire pits, or blow themselves sky high with a few hundred bystanders in order to satisfy the unknown and insatiable demands as declared by the priests. Cults like this one too, because the leader can declare himself or herself the chosen representative who receives all the gifts demanded. Use your imagination, they certainly do.

Behaviorist Gospel – this one is fading in popularity, at least in America, but it certainly had a strong presence when I was growing up. It’s somewhat like the Appeasement Gospel, in that it’s all about the rules and whether someone sees you breaking them. That makes it very easy to sort between who’s in and who’s out – just see if they’re wearing the right clothes, hairstyle, jewelry or lack of, attending the right entertainments and not being observed with the wrong ones. We churned out a lot of proficient liars & hypocrites with that one. It looks much like the one the Pharisees adhered to back in the day.

Social Gospel – this one is huge these days. It comes in a variety of flavors, depending on which oppressed group (or groups) one either belongs to, pities, or wants applause from. Unfortunately, it can be just as insatiable, sometimes just as outrageous, even just as manipulated as the Appeasement Gospel. Its subtlety, however, is well crafted — it borrows a few words from the One God who said things like feed the widows, orphans, and strangers; don’t oppress your brother/sister; don’t abuse those who have less than you. The Social Gospel insists that if we all play nice, the world will be a fair and beautiful place. It forgets that humanity isn’t really inclined toward playing nice. My favorite is when they get mean about the insistence on everyone playing nice. ‘Fess up, you’ve seen it.

Anything Goes Gospel – this one is similar to the Bubblegum Gospel, but is really more of a backlash against the Behaviorist Gospel. It’s the idea that there really isn’t any form of accountability, justice, or oversight. All dogs go to Heaven, and take their humans with ’em, no questions asked. Or, perhaps there isn’t a Heaven at all, so grab your gusto here and now, whatever makes you smile. Taken to extremes, which any of them can be, it invites full anarchy, which can include kicking your neighbor in the nose if the thought appeals to you. Might want to beware what your neighbor is free to do in return, though.

In all the lesser gospels (which really aren’t the gospel, if you didn’t get my point the first time), we return to the idea that mankind is the determiner of good and evil, for himself and all others. Reward and punishment, compassion and bullying, are in the eye of whichever warped personality is currently at the top of the ever-churning pile. There’s no stability there, no justice, no equality, and certainly no provision and benevolence for those deemed unworthy.

Now look again at where we started – one eternal deity with the power to create, the right to destroy, and the compassion to forgive. One decision point between the richest, poorest, healthiest, sickest, palest, darkest, hairyest, baldest, most honest, most deceitful, etc. Just one question…we’re all on cracked wet ice, will you grab the only hand that isn’t in the same deadly spot you’re stuck in? That’s the gospel to pick.

Once you make that choice, trust that gospel, and begin that relationship, you’ll find yourself enjoying things like generosity and pure living. You’ll become apprentice and partner to the greatest lover in the universe, and you’ll see your needs, and even a few wants, fulfilled. The catch is to remember that positive behavior and social compassion are the natural outflowing of true righteousness, not the paths to achieve it.